3 Million Chinese Drink Urine to Keep Fit: Symposium

Shenyang -- More than three million Chinese are drinking their own urine for medical purposes, according to a just-closed national seminar on the therapy with human urine.

Zhu Jinfu, a senior engineer from Nanjing, the capital of Jiangsu Province in each China, said at the seminar that many of his forefathers had enjoyed longevity thanks to this therapy.

The engineer began drinking his own urine when he was 13 and has been healthy for the past 58 years.

Yang Liansheng, a professor from the Liaoning Institute of Traditional Chinese Medicine, said that urine is turned into something like blood serum after it is filtered by kidney. Therefore, urine contains no bacterium and is more sanitary than blood, he noted.

As urine contains many kinds of active materials and helps human body resist invaders from the outside, and thus, improves the immunity of human body, according to the professor.

So he started drinking pee when he was 13? We wonder what motivates a 13 year-old to drink his own pee. We don't know any 13 year-olds who are concerned in the least about their health, much less enough so to resort to drinking pee, even if it did offer health benefits not available elsewhere, which it does not. Maybe it was a dare. But why, then, would he continue drinking pee to this day? Despite what the Chinese might argue, I can safely assume that pee does not taste good. For one thing, it's toxic. Keep it in your bladder long enough and you'll get sick.

I'm guessing it's a tradition based on superstition that parents force on their children.
  

Pissing For A Living At $69.00 A Pee!

South Carolina -  Kenneth Curtis makes good money pissing his days away. 

Curtis sells his urine over the Internet to people who are skittish about using their own for workplace drug tests.

"Privacy Protection Services" guarantees that his pee will pass even the strictest urinalysis exams. For $69 plus shipping costs, customers get 5.5 ounces of urine in a small, self-heating pouch that can be strapped onto the test-taker's body for easy concealment.

And in an era where employees routinely pee into paper cups, Curtis says he has struck liquid gold. Over the past six years, he has sold over 100,000 of his "urine test substitution kits" and spawned many online competitors.

The former pipefitter from South Carolina started his business after being forced to take a drug test at each new construction site he was sent to, a practice he found "humiliating and degrading."

In the beginning, he donated his urine to nervous buddies as a form of protest.

"But pretty soon people were calling me up in the middle of the night," said Curtis, 42. "I found it was a viable business venture."

By chugging fruit juice, tea and coffee, Curtis says he produces enough urine to make 50 kits a day; he keeps another 500 gallons of his liquid waste stored in industrial freezers.

"I don't waste a drop of my assets," he said.

But peeing for a living isn't easy, he insisted. Each sample must be analyzed at a private laboratory to ensure it's clear of substances that could trigger a false-positive result, then sealed and packaged.

He also labors in a hostile work environment; his product was outlawed in his home state after it pissed off a local lawmaker. In 1999, South Carolina changed its laws to make it illegal for a person to "sell, give away, distribute or market urine ... with intent to defraud a drug or alcohol screening test" or to adulterate a urine sample in any other way to foil a drug test.

The maximum penalty for a first-time offender is a $5,000 fine and three years in prison.

"This is real important from a safety perspective," said Republican State Sen. David Thomas, who sponsored the bill. "Business owners think everything is safe when, in fact, they aren't making their products in a drug-free environment."

Curtis was arrested in April after he sold urine to an undercover cop at a South Carolina gas station and a SWAT team raided his home, finding 20 gallons of urine in milk jugs and sealed containers. He was charged with two counts of violating the 1999 law and will face a hefty fine and prison sentence if convicted.

Curtis has fought the law in court, and while his attempts to reverse the legislation have failed, the South Carolina Supreme Court did rule that a portion of the legal code is unconstitutional because it presumes the guilt of people who sell urine along with information on cheating drug tests.

South Carolina isn't the only state that has laws against hoodwinking urinalysis tests; a handful of others, including Nebraska, have similar regulations.

To avoid problems, urine sellers insist their business is about privacy, not narcotics.

"It's nobody's business what you do on your own time, as long as you perform your job," said Stephanie Bell, a co-founder of Mississippi-based 4CleanP.com.

Bell's company got started after a failed drug test. Her fiancé erroneously failed a drug test at a construction gig and was escorted off the site by security guards. A second analysis of the sample showed it was clean; but Bell, her fiancé and another couple forged ahead with the business. Today, they sell an average of 500 urine kits -- which are similar to Curtis' in look and price -- a month, she said.

Some of her clients buy urine in order to hide health conditions -- such as diabetes or pregnancy -- in order to get insurance or jobs.

"No employers want to hire a woman who's going to be taking four months off for maternity leave," she said.

One of her customers is a diabetic smoker who would get kicked off a kidney donation list if nicotine was found in his urine, she added.

Privacy advocates such as the American Civil Liberties Union argue that workplace drug screening is an unproven method for stopping substance abuse and that it treads on a fundamental right: the right to be left alone.

Many websites sell "herbal cleansers," synthetic urine or additives designed to foil screening, but most are gimmicks, said Steve Ferris, vice president of Advanced Workplace Strategies Incorporated, a California-based company that administers drug and alcohol tests.
...
But devices such as Curtis' strap-on piss pouch that meet strict sample temperature requirements (between 90 and 100 degrees) may successfully trump the system, he acknowledged.

"Unless you force people to strip, they can't be detected," he said.

But one thing is clear: Get caught with a urine pouch, and you're in deep trouble.

Editor's Note: You've gotta love a capitalistic country!

Sex in the City says "Pee on Television"

Hollywood, CA - Earlier this season on television's "Sex in the City," the usually open-minded heroine, Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), was dumped by a politico who otherwise seemed perfect. There was only one problem: He asked her to incorporate golden showers into their relationship. She refused. Instead, Ms. B. suggested alternatives. She would pour warm tap water on him, she offered, or maybe, just maybe, she could leave the door open while she sat on the toilet. The boyfriend called it quits. But Carrie got the last word, titling one of her columns "To Pee or Not to Pee?"

Ed. Note: Perhaps Hollywood will make Watersports as popular as it has made BDSM!

2 Jailers Charged in Urination Assault

Springfield, MI - Two Greene County jailers accused of urinating on a group of inmates earlier this week have been charged with assault and no longer work for Greene County.

Justin K. Hastings, 21, and Curtis A. Myers, 26, were each charged with four counts of third-degree assault on Wednesday. They are not in custody but were summoned to appear before Associate Circuit Judge Max Bacon on Sept. 7.

While Greene County Sheriff Jack Merritt called the allegations “an embarrassment” to his department and fielded questions about the Sunday night incident, the two jailers resigned. Hastings had worked at the jail about a year; Sunday was Myer’s first day on the job.

Prosecutors say the two jailers went up on a roof and urinated on the four inmates as they played basketball below in one of the jail’s exercise rooms. The exercise area is open at the ceiling, with metal grates blocking the exit. Jailers are required to make at least one security check up there per shift.

“All of a sudden there was a shower,” Moore said. Samples of the liquid that ended up on the inmates faces and bodies were sent to a lab for testing, but at this point, Moore said, “it looks and smells like pee.”

Perkins said Durley is still upset about the incident. At first, she said, he didn’t know what was pouring down from the roof. When he looked up, the liquid hit his face.

“He had it in his mouth,” Perkins said. “He had it all down his face.”

Think maybe the jail guards were just pissed off??? :)

First-Grade Teacher Apprehends Urinator

NEWARK, DE - The mysterious Coat Room Urinator, who for weeks terrorized Mrs. Collinsworth's first-grade class at Lakeview Elementary School, was brought to justice Monday, when student Danny Culver was caught in the act of voiding his bladder by the lost-and-found box. "The elusive urine fiend has been apprehended and will be dealt with accordingly," Collinsworth said. "We as a class no longer have to live in constant fear of discovering a warm puddle by the Simba cutouts along the back wall." Culver is being held without bail in his room at 294 Maplewood Drive after being released to the custody of his parents.
  

Astronaut's Pee Patterns

MOSCOW, RU - Scientific research into watersports aboard the MIR spacestation has led to this important discovery: "We have also taken huge leaps in our understanding of the patterns created when one wets his pants in the weightlessness of space," Solovyov said. "The urine spreads out in an expanding sphere, something we did not expect." 

EDITOR'S NOTE - And you wonder why the space program is so damned expensive!

Beer Pants Increase Drinking Time

EDMONDS, WA - Why miss another round when you can just go. Marketed as a gag gift, you simply slip these Beer Pants on before your favorite party and your worries are over. Never leave the action all night. Stay right where you are and know that Beer Pants are ready to work anytime your ready to let go.  No more of that feeling to excuse yourself, just sit back and relieve yourself with confidence.
  

Chalk One Up For Modern Ingenuity

NETHERLANDS - Ladies will never have to complain about long ladies' room lines again. A Dutch inventor named Marian Loth has come up with a solution: a female urinal called the "Lady P." It looks and functions much like a man's urinal -- and Loth maintains it's more hygienic and six times faster to use than your standard-issue toilet.

But the new contraption is receiving mixed reviews from women giving it a whirl at a London bar.

"No, no, no, no, never," one woman told the U.K. Guardian. "If you think I am going to squat there with my worst gray knickers around my ankles and my fanny to the world, you've got to be joking. I don't care how long the queue is. I'll wait."

Others are more willing to take the plunge. "Like most girls I hate waiting for the loo, so anything that is faster is a great idea," said a less testy tester. "I just wonder whether my thigh muscles are strong enough."

Oh my!

BERLIN, Germany - A world-famous techno music parade through a Berlin park is in doubt after anti-parade protesters booked the park on the same date.

The Love Parade, held on the second Saturday of July since 1989, attracted 1.3 million young people last year from across Europe who danced their way through central Tiergarten park.

But the city senator responsible for internal affairs, Eckardt Werthebach, said the parade could not go ahead on July 14 because of a demonstration already scheduled by environmentalists who oppose the event.

Environmentalists have complained about the damage done to the park, compiling figures each year about the tons of rubbish and litres of urine left behind by the participants.

EDITOR'S NOTE: This makes us wonder... how was this urine left behind? Neatly packed in litre bottles, 5 litre pails, what??? Who, how and why? EGADS!!

(CNN) - Margaret Salinger's new memoir, "Dream Catcher," is filled with unusual and even salacious details about her family and her father, the famously reclusive author J.D. Salinger. In the book she reveals that her father drank his own urine and was once married to a Nazi Party functionary, items that have attracted a great deal of press.

But, she said in an interview Thursday on CNN, she's surprised at the attention paid to those parts of the book, perhaps at the expense of the rest of her story.

"I was surprised as anyone that that was what was picked up in the press," she told anchor Bill Hemmer. "When I first saw the ... headlines - 'Salinger drinks urine' ... I really didn't think this was such an odd thing."

She later expanded on that statement during a chat on CNN.com following her television interview.

"I never expected to see that as sort of a 'shockeroo' headline. It's quite a common practice of yogis, having to do with self-purification. Not being a practitioner myself, I don't know anything about it, but I was certainly surprised at the attention drawn to that," she said.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Me thinks Salinger and his daughter are a little more enlightened than the buffoons who write about them. Sadly showing the difference between literature and modern era news. They report without thorough research.

BERLIN (Reuters) - Germany's reputation for precision has taken a knock, judging by a ban on urinating while standing that has been imposed on tenants in an east German apartment block, the daily Bild reported Friday.

Landlords, complaining that misdirected urine is causing their radiators to rust, ordered male tenants to answer the call of nature off their feet.

But men in the town of Radeburg are not taking the the ban ban sitting down.

"I'm not going to let anybody tell me how I take care of business. I'm going to carry on standing. Basta!" said local cemetery worker Juergen Galler.

BOSTON (CNN) - Men who drink a large amount of fluid reduce their risk of getting bladder cancer by half, according to a new study at the Harvard School of Public Health.

"This is the simplest form of cancer prevention I've ever heard of," said Peter Ross, a biochemist at the University of Southern California Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center in Los Angeles, and co-author of an editorial in this week's New England Journal of Medicine.

Scientists are unsure why fluids may prevent bladder cancer, but doctors have a theory.

"It seems they wash out the carcinogens ... so the carcinogens are less likely to come in contact with the wall of the bladder," said Dominique Michaud, lead author of the paper.

Other researchers are looking to see if there is a link between fluid intake and prevention of colon cancer, she said.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Seems the scientists at Harvard are telling us something we PeePlay practitioners have kinda known all along. :)