CLUBBING
by John Martin

The night was almost over. Mandy was having a great time at "Macey's",
the local nightclub, and didn't really want to go home. She came here
most Friday nights because the music was just *sooo* good and she really
did like to dance. The talent wasn't bad either. Not that she was
really into boys at the moment. She'd just turned 19 and was beginning
to wonder why she often preferred to spend more time with her girl
friends, her best friend Karen in particular. Karen was gorgeous.
They'd been best mates for 5 years now, but it was only quite recently
that Mandy had noticed what a dazzling smile Karen had. And they way
her cute butt moved as she walked across the dancefloor. And that
perfect figure of hers. Wow!

Not that Mandy was lesbian, although with her short dark hair and solid
muscular thighs, she had been mistaken several times for a "butch". She
did like to feel good; and three nights a week she'd be down at the gym
working out. She was particularly into weights at the moment. And
there was this particularly cute femme-looking gal who went down there
on the same nights that Mandy did!

But no way was Mandy a lesbian. No. She could just see how beautiful
some of her closest friends really were. And girls were just so much
*nicer* than boys, too. Kinder, gentler, more reasonable - and without
any of that irritating aggression that most men seem to have.
Particularly when they're out in a group together; like on a Friday
night at the local nightclub.

In fact, the only reason tonight hadn't been perfect was because of one
persistent young dick-head who'd been pestering her on the dancefloor
all evening. Mandy quite enjoyed getting the attention *sometimes*. In
spite of her 'solid' figure, she had wonderful thick Sandra Bernhard
lips, which were particularly appealing tonight (thanks to some very
expensive lip gloss!), and 38D breasts. She also exuded sexuality.
This was understandably the reason most boys (and some girls!) were
interested in her. But tonight, this particular idiot was beginning to
piss her off.

She'd tried all the usual put-downs (Mandy could be extremely witty when
she put her mind to it), but tonight they just didn't seem to work.
Maybe he couldn't hear her properly? The music *was* ear-splittingly
loud where she was dancing, with Karen and their other friend Lisa. Or
maybe he was too drunk? Or maybe he was just a jerk? Still, there he
was, doing that special type of "dance" lads do when they can hardly
stand up. One leg firmly anchored to the floor, arms waving around like
some demented windmill, punctuated by groin spasms. Presumably, dick-
head *thought* he was dancing. And every now and then he would lunge
forwards towards Mandy and try to grab her butt.

Maybe he was fascinated by how smooth it was, with no sign of a VPL
(Visible Panty Line). Hardly surprising because Mandy never wore
panties when she went clubbing. It was far too hot for panties. And
she had to admit, it was quite a turn-on for her too. It did mean she
had to be slightly careful on the dancefloor and when sitting down. But
it was worth it, being cool and free. She always wore crotchless tights
as well. Very handy in the Ladies'!

Then he tried to grope her right breast and she was very close to
decking him! With her powerful arm muscles she'd have no difficulty
taking his lights out. It was Karen who grabbed Mandy's firm arm,
shaking her head, mouthing "No", which stopped her. Otherwise the
sexist bastard would be unconscious by now.

"Come on", shouted Karen, "Let's get a drink and leave him to it". So
off they went towards the bar leaving Windmill Man to it. He was so
drunk that it took him a minute or so to realise they had even gone.
Eventually, seeing no other cute birds around, he turned and started to
"walk" back towards his mates. They had all witnessed his antics with
even more amusement than Mandy, Karen and Lisa had. "Robbo hasn't
scored, Robbo hasn't scored!". They were jeering at dick-head (Robbo)
and making obscene arm gestures to "highlight" his predicament. Robbo
wasn't too bothered, there were plenty of other birds out there.
Anyway, he wasn't feeling too good now. Things were going decidedly
hazy; and he just wanted to sit down and have another beer. (He was too
drunk to realise that his present condition and the 7 pints of beer he'd
already had, were not entirely unrelated. . .). He managed to find a
low bar stool, and plonked himself down. He definitely didn't feel 100
per cent, and figured the curry he'd had earlier must have been dodgy.
Meanwhile his mates had noticed a couple of stunning birds on the other
side of the dancefloor; Robbo hadn't even seen them go across there.

Karen and Lisa were at the bar by now; they'd been served just in time
because it was now closed (it was 2 am on the nose). Mandy had gone
straight to the Ladies' and was back within a minute. "Cor, that was
quick Mand", said Karen. "The bar's closed now, but we managed to get
you another Martini and lemonade". Mandy was looking preoccupied,
bringing her solid thighs together and doing a very unusual sort of
dance. Not quite in rhythm with the music, though. "Damn, I'm dying
for a pee and there's a queue a mile long. If I don't go soon, I'll end
up wetting myself". "Tell you what", said Lisa, "Let's drink up and get
out of here. There's a bit of waste ground at the back of the club; we
can have a pee there 'cos I need one too. And then, can we PLEASE get a
taxi home?". Lisa had not really enjoyed the evening. Not surprising,
because as Mandy became more inebriated, she'd started coming onto to
Karen in a very obvious and (to Lisa) embarrassing way. They all nodded
and Mandy picked up the drink and downed it in one. All that dancing
HAD made her thirsty! She was getting quite tiddly herself now.

They gazed idly at the dancefloor wondering where Windmill Man had got
to. Lisa spotted him on the bar stool, on his own, and pointed at him,
giggling. He looked VERY pissed, thought Mandy. But she was still
dying for a PISS and the other two girls had hardly started their
drinks. She looked back at dick-head. Then her generous, red lips
parted into a broad, evil grin. A wonderful idea occurred to her.
"Come on girls", said Mandy, "Drink up and get ready to go. I just have
to take care of some unfinished business. Stay there, I won't be long".

She fixed dick-head in her gaze and strode purposefully over to him.
This was going to be easy, she thought. "Hi. Do you know you've got
gorgeous eyes, big boy? Mind if I sit on you knee?" Robbo looked up
and try to focus his eyes on her. It *looked* like the bird from the
dancefloor. Mandy didn't wait for a reply, she couldn't. She hitched
up her skirt very high, straddled him, and sat on his lap, facing him.
Robbo's brain was desperately trying to make sense of what was going on.
He tried to speak, "Hi, I'm Rob-bb urrh..." but by now Mandy had pressed
her bright red lips over his mouth and was kissing him! She was
pressing hard and Robbo couldn't speak even if he wanted to. This was
great! Not that there was any great passion from Mandy. She could
smell beer, curry and halitosis; it was not pleasant for her, but better
to be safe in case he did try to speak. Not that anyone would have
heard; the final slow tune was playing now, very loud.

Robbo had scored at last! (or so he thought) and with a gorgeous bird
too. She was right there on his lap, all soft and warm. Very warm in
fact. Suddenly she stopped snogging him, and whispered in his ear
"Don't you EVER forget this!". Then she carefully lifted herself up,
pulling her skirt back down into place, turned and left him. He
couldn't believe his luck!

Mandy hurried across the floor to Karen and Lisa. "Come on, I've done
now. Let's go". As they headed for the exit, they noticed that there
was hardly any queue outside the Ladies'. "Come on, Mandy", said Lisa,
"Let's join the queue now, we'll be in there in no time. And you must
be BURSTING".

"No", snapped Mandy "I'm okay. Let's just get out of here, we'll go the
waste ground for you if you like". Lisa was puzzled. Mandy grabbed her
by the hand and virtually dragged them both out of the club.

Robbo was feeling great! If only he knew her name or her phone number.
The warm feeling he had was beginning to turn a bit, well, cold. In
fact, in his trousers to be exact. He looked down and tried to focus
his eyes on his groin. It was absolutely soaking wet. Funny, he didn't
remember peeing his pants. He'd only staggered off to the toilet 15
minutes earlier. And he was Robbo; it was well-known that he could
*hold* his beer.

"Urrgghh, Robbo, what the hell have you done? Look lads, Robbo's peed
himself". He looked up. His mates were standing around, pointing at
his crotch and laughing hysterically, as were the two young blondes with
them. "We're all going back to Macca's place, but you're not coming
mate. Not in that state. You'd better see if they can clean you up a
bit!"

With that they laughed and left him. "Robbo's peed himself, Robbo's
peed himself!!". He was staring down at his trousers. He just couldn't
remember. But he must have done; the evidence was pretty plain to see
and smell. Steam was now beginning to rise from his crotch. By now a
small crowd had formed and they were staring and giggling at him. He
had to get out of there. He leaned forward and pushed up. His head was
beginning to swim now; 2 seconds later he was out cold, lying on the
floor in a pool of "his" piss.

On the back seat of a taxi half a mile away by now, Mandy, Karen and
Lisa were well on their way home. She'd told them what she'd done to
him and they were all laughing hysterically. "The jerk didn't even know
what was going on, the sad bastard. He's probably in there now trying
to figure it all out!" But he did deserve it. Mandy did not like
ANYONE touching her breasts; well apart from Karen and maybe the girl
from the gym. They were all feeling incredibly turned on by Mandy's
revelation, especially Karen. "Okay", she whispered to them, so the cab
driver in the front wouldn't hear. "Last one to reach a climax makes
the coffee, okay?" They all nodded in agreement. What a marvellous
idea, all three of them jerking off together in a cab!

But Mandy had a head start. She'd had her hand under her skirt for
several minutes now, ever since they'd got in the cab. She was already
half-way "home". . .

END